South Korea¡¯s Government Policy on North Korean Defectors

Korean Minjok Leadership Academy

Table of Contents

October 13th 2009

BR> November 13th 2009 . . Go to YES' Log

As you start with handing in a complete draft, this will be a lengthy, detailed comment.
I copied and pasted your text into an html file, adding some html commands. You will notice that in the process parts of your text are messed up : hyphens, quotation marks, apostrophes, and most notably all text strings in Hangul.
You don't notice it ? Try change encoding away from Korean. Remember, you write in English; expect the computer of your user not even to have the option of "Encoding : Korean". Don't worry about the hyphens, quotation marks etc.; I can handle that when finally editing your text.
(1) Hangul text strings : copy and paste them into image files (gif); use paintbrush, label them image1.gif and following. Look into your brother's paper, scroll down for glossary, to get an idea how to do it.
(2) figures 2 and 3 - I need them as separate image files. Do you have written permission to use these images ? Copyright. If not, contact the copyright holders for such permission.
(3) figure 1 - empty table. Give me the figures, I make table.
(4) figure 4 - too wide. Break it up into 4 lines from presently 2. Also be more clearer on the headlines; '09.5, ~01 are rather confusing entries.
(5) endnotes :
(5a) (10) The Washington Post, 2008.
in case of newspaper articles, give the day of publication.
(5b) (90) Chung, 2007.
in case of books, essays etc., in notes give the specific page(s) you refer to. This information will not appear in your bibliography (reference list).

First, congratulations, your paper provides a solid comprehensive survey. A few suggestions :
(6) As I mentioned in our conversation yesterday, persons with family in the North have suffered certain discrimination in their careers; you may want to mention this somewhere in your paper.
(7) Your introduction sheds light on the issue you write about - the fate of NK defectors. It does not outline what you deal with in your paper and what you do not deal with. I suggest you add a paragraph to your introduction in which you do the latter. In such a paragraph you could refer to the discrimatory practice I mentioned under (6) and simply state that you exclude it from your examination. Also you could state that you begin your examination in 1953 from the signing of the armistice.
(8) VI.a. Number of defectors in South Korea
When I look at figure 4, I envision a comparison with refugee figures from East Germany.
In the years preceding unification, the number of GDR citizens who, for permanent, moved from East Germany to West Germany was in the 10,000s and increased steadily. Some managed to escape (those fleeing the republic, a crime according to GDR law), others officially applied for permission to emigrate (lost their jobs, were imprisoned, and released into the west a few years later after the FRG had "purchased their freedom").
The GDR had about 17 million inhabitants; NK has c. 24 million. The figures of refugees arriving here are a trifle compared to the potential flood of refugees if the mechanisms to prevent them from fleeing break down one day.
I see no attempt in your paper to put the figures of refugees 1953-today into a perspective. The conclusion, or a separate chapter, may be an appropriate place to do just this.

Comprehensive and persuasive. Well done.