The Discrepancy between modernization of legal institutions and social customs


Korean Minjok Leadership Academy
KMJ



Table of Contents


Oct. 24th 2011
Oct. 18th 2011
Sept. 21st 2011
Sept. 3rd 2011
Jun. 10th 2011
Jun. 10th 2011
Jun. 1st 2011
Jun. 1st 2011
Apr. 23th 2011
Apr. 23th 2011
Apr. 23th 2011



Oct. 24th 2011 . go to KMJ's Log

(1) I find the term "pedestrian thoroughfare" irritating, as 'fare' means drive/sail (use a vehicle) and pedestrians do not. While I do understand the Wikipedia article on thoroughfare lists sidewalks as thoroughfares, it is for me another example of a language being used by people who do not understand it.
(2) Reference list, primary sources - you do not list the specific edition/translation you used. Such inform,ation belongs into the reference list, not the notes.
(3) your secondary source no.7 http://www.mongabay.com/reference/country_studies/turkey/SOCIETY.html
writes at the bottom : This text comes from the Country Studies Program, formerly the Army Area Handbook Program. The Country Studies Series presents a description and analysis of the historical setting and the social, economic, political, and national security systems and institutions of countries throughout the world. From The Library of Congress
I suggest your replace this reference by the original source (Library of Congress, Country Studies, Turkey, Section : Society)
(4) reference no. 8 : title, author (full name). reference no.9 author (only last name). title, reference no.10 : author (full name). title. I assume Caporal refers to Bernard Caporal. Please arrange your references systematically. In case of no.8, if the title comes first, I assume it not to be an academic comment on the constitution, but a translation; yet if it would be, it would belong under the section primary sources. The order of biobliographic information causes your user to have expectations. In order to clearly identify an edition you can add : Edward Mead Earl (ed.), a translation : Edward Mead Earl (trsl.), if it is an edition/translation of the original source, not an analytical comment.
(5) It may make sense to divide your secondary sources into encyclopedic sources (Wikipedia articles; Country Studies), academic sources, socio-political discourse (where I would place those movies). Because you begin your reference list with Wikipedia articles - which are a logical place where to start your inquiries; on the other hand, readers of your paper may imply the reference list to be organized in order of importance of your sources.
(6) 25. Film: Die Fremde (2010) directed by Feo Aladag Title in German. So did it have English or Korean subtitles ? If you do not give reference to those, you cause your reader to believe that you understand German.
(7) 26. Film: Ayla (2010), directed by Su Turhan First, the title does not give your reader information on what language it is in; if he bothers to check in IMDB http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1572985/ he will find out that it is in German & Turkish. Again, as you do not refer to subtitles or a version dubbed in English/Korean, you imply that you understand German and Turkish.
(8) 24. Documentary: Honour Killings: Turkey, United Nations. uploaded by United Nations on YouTube in 2008
Uploaded by a user using the identity "unitednations". There is no way for me to verify that the U.N. stands behind this upload; any user could have usurped this identity. Youtube is not an academic source. It is okay for you to use it in the context of your paper, but the identity of the uploader is not that clear to me.
(9) As seen in the above, it is evident that female status becomes higher from the rural areas to urban areas, from the east to the west.
"female status" awkward. rephrase - social status of women ?
(10) The main cause of the discrepancy between the legal institutions and the customs of people in the Republic of Turkey is that the reforms or the modernization of the legal institutions were not driven by the people but by the state in the first place.
instead of "by the state" - "by state administration". State administration was the engine of political reform in Turkey since 1839, if not much earlier.
(11) Millet system allowed religious communities to enjoy a degree of autonomy, to live in accordance to their own system of religious and cultural law. The Millet System; in the following sentence : The Ataturk Reform. If you do not refer to just any system or reform, but to a particular one, the expression becomes a name and has to be capitalized in its entirety.
(12) The radical changes in laws and administrations
I don't know if I understand what you want to say here. Radical change in administrations may mean repeated personnel changes in consecitive administrations. In such a context the usage of plural makes sense. However, if you use administration in the meaning the process of administration, plural is wrong, as a process does not have a plural. administrative policies ?
(13) Therefore, Ataturk reforms and following reforms in the legal institutions
Earlier you used the term Ataturk Reform. If it is a singular, it must be capitalized as it is a name; if a plural, not. You may want to be systematic in your paper in the usage of either singular or plural.
(14) the older generation stuck in the traditional mindsets,
Your paper juxtaposes one modern and one traditional position. So why plural (mindsets) ? perhaps 'in a traditional mindset' better. If you want to keep the plural, explain what mnindsets you mean.
(15) modern and traditional generations are evident among migrated families in urban areas.
could refer to immigrants or to families who moved from one city to another. among migrant families who have moved from the countryside into urban centers.
(16) The World Economic Forum¡¯s Global Gender Gap Index rank of Turkey dropped significantly in 2007 from 105 to 121 and since then, Turkey has consistently been on the low section of the rank; it ranked 129th place out of 134 in 2009. no reference
(17) When people recognize the inhumane and unfair nature of some traditional value systems and the need for the promotion of gender equality can they finally realize the democratic state where ¡°Everyone possesses inherent fundamental rights and freedoms which are inviolable and inalienable¡± as the constitution states. please give a reference
(18) In my comment I have focussed on analysis, conclusion and references. If you included any substantial changes in the earlier parts of your text, other than the corrections I requested, please highlight them.



Oct. 18th 2011 . go to KMJ's Log

(1) Modern Turkey and traditional Turkey does not differ in terms of timeline but differs in terms of regions, cultures, and social atmosphere do not differ .. but differ in terms of ..
(2) Regional differences in Turkey stems .. differences stem from
(3) These regional differences lived up to mid-twentieth century .. not lived up to, continued into ..
(4) Therefore, the country has two distinct identities, modern and traditional ones. a modern one and a traditional one.
(5) Modern Turkey refers to parts of Turkey that was reformed and modernized as a result of modernization attempts and European influence while traditional Turkey refers to parts of Turkey that was far from being modernized and influenced by modernization attempts and European influence, ..
This reads like good and bad, black and white. Are there no shades of grey ?
I suggest : Modern Turkey refere to the part of the country shaped by Modernization, while Traditional Turkey refers to the part of the country where Modernization has affected life on a superficial level, while age-old tradition still largely determines daily life.
(6) The fundamentals of the reform were abolition of the office of the Ottoman Sultanate in 1922, proclamation of the Republic in 1923, and abolition of the office of Caliphate held by the Ottoman Sultan. Give the date of the latter, 1924
(7) On 5 December 1934, Turkey moved to grant full political rights to women, before several other European nations. Only 5 % of the territory of Turkey is located on the European continent. May I suggest to skip "other" ? It may also be stronger if you refer to France (1944) as a specific example.
(8) The mounting social pressures on both generations have .. social pressure
(9) increase in murders, beatings and other violence within families, as well as suicides among girls and .. murder, suicide can not be counted
(10) The proportions of town women agreeing with those statements were clearly lower. proportion .. was
(11) "Suicide City" for numerous honor suicides. cases of honor suicide
(12) Millet system allowed the people to enjoy a degree of autonomy, to live in accordance to their own system of religious and cultural law. 'people' imprecise. religious communities better.
(13) Mehmet Farac, who wrote a book on honor killing for the first time in Turkey, Who wrote the first book in Turkey on the subject of honor killing. Here you make a strong statement; are you sure this was the first ?
(14) The article regulating ¡°indecent behaviours¡± has been amended only to include sexual intercourse in public and exhibitionism. This article foresaw criminalization of the so-called ¡°indecent behaviors,¡± here you use both British and American spelling in one paragraph. Pick one. The word 'behaviour' can not be used in plural.
(15) Overall : impressive. Most of my corrections are of non-historical nature. The illiteracy rate is a good indicator for modernity/non-modernity. If you have data for all Turkish provinces, one could create a map illistrating this.



Sept. 21st 2011 . go to KMJ's Log

(1) On your title : I suggest title : Gender Issues in the History of the Republic of Turkey ; subtitle : The Discrepancy between Modern Legal Institutions and Traditional Social Customs; or combine : The Discrepancy between Modern Legal Institutions and Traditional Social Customs in the History of the Republic of Turkey. "Republic of Turkey" must appear in the title.
(2) Legal institutions refer to the constitutions and laws that are enacted by the government.
You write about just one country. In this context, constitutions (plural) appears awkward, as Turkey had just one constitution at any given time; I recommend using singular.
(3) the new Turkish civil code which was modeled after the Swiss Civil Code the Swiss Civil Code (of year x)
(4) Virginity testing is a traditional practice 'testing' awkward, rephrase
(5) Bibliography : first bibliographic references, then primary sources, then secondary sources
(6) The illegal attempt to preserve a proportional quota of women judges I don't understand this part
(7) Another societal element that changed radically through the reforms is female status. Ataturk himself stated ¡°The social change can come by (1) educating capable mothers who are knowledgeable about life; (2) giving freedom to women; (3) a man can change his morals, thoughts, and feelings by leading a common life with a woman; as there is an inborn tendency towards the attraction of mutual affection¡±
Article 112(1) states that a marriage would be void if either of the spouses were married at time of entry into marriage.
Now I am confused. You directly quote Ataturk, so I expect a footnote. Yet I sense that (1), (2) amd (3) do not indicate footnotes of yours, but are part of the Ataturk quote.
My advice : write individual chapters complete with footnotes. Do not recycle footnote numbers.



Sept. 3rd 2011 . go to KMJ's Log

(1) title : The Discrepancy between Modern Legal Institutions and Traditional Social Customs. A Paper Focusing on the Gender Issues in the History of the Republic of Turkey
(2) Turkey is one of the most modernized and westernized countries in the Middle East.
avoid superlatives : Among the countries of the Middle East, Turkey is recognised as modern and westernized
(3) After World War I, the Turkish War of Independence was waged under the leadership of Mustafa Kemal Pasha with the aim of revoking the terms of the Treaty of Sevres. with the aim of preventing the implementation of the Treaty of Sevres.
(4) abolition of the office of Caliphate held by the Ottoman Caliphate. held by the Ottoman Sultan.
(5) Bibliography, 1. Article: Wikipedia, History of Turkey give URL
(6) Bibliography, 3. Turkey, Country Studies, The Library of Congress should have a year of publication
(7) Bibliography, 7. In Turkey, Degrees of Change in Women's Rights. By Larisa Epatko. Online NewsHour does it have a date ?
(8) Bibliography, 15. The Legal Status of Women in Turkey. Canan Arin. WWHR Report No.1 a report should have a date
(9) Bibliography positions 20-22, 28, try find date, position 26, double check date



Jun. 10th 2011 . go to KMJ's Log

chapter V.4 missing
IV.1. Historical Context
IV.1.1. Transition into a Republic
If a chapter has only one subchapter, merge chapter and subchapter
VI.3. Causes of the Discrepancy
VI.3. Impact of the Discrepancy
There are two chapters with the number VI.3



Jun. 1oth 2011 . go to KMJ's Log

In this list you forgot to include the movies/documentaries in your first reference list.
Also include another category : bibliographic sources, where you list the bibliography section of the Historical Dictionaries of Turkey, Malaysia and my Turkey and Malaysia index pages



Jun. 1st 2011 . go to KMJ's Log

See the numbers in front of the chapter titles; somewhat chaotic.



Jun. 1st 2011 . go to KMJ's Log

okay.
The next step is to establish a working reference list.
Search abebooks.com for Historical Dictionary of Malaysia, most recent edition; I recommend you to get it. Books of this series have an excellent bibliography section. The library has the Turkey volume.



Apr. 23th 2011

The comparison of Korea and Singapore is fine with me. For Singapore (see below) you should have sufficient information easily available.
For Turkey, finding the right sources may be more tricky.

The narration of the history of legal changes / the modernization of women's status will be the easy part.
Narrating the history of continued traditional practice in (rural) Turkey will be more difficult to document.
One way would be to search foreign press - the New York Times or Times of London (entire archives online) for the keyword combination turkey + woman [in the U.S. Press you may find turkey occasionally referring to the bird]

You are aware that Muslims in Singapore are a minority.

Apr. 23th 2011 . go to KMJ's Log

(1) typo : Biography instead of Bibliography
(2) neither title nor subtitle express your focus on Turkey and Singapore. I suggest subtitle : Gender Issues in the Modern History of Turkey and Singapore
(3) your table of contents still contains Korea section; in your email you write you want to focus on Turkey and Singapore



Dec. 23th 2010 . go to KMJ's Log

More references
http://www.zum.de/whkmla/region/asmin/xturkey.html
http://www.zum.de/whkmla/region/seasia/xsingapore.html

http://www.zum.de/whkmla/sp/1011/carrot/carrot1.html Chae Seung Hoon's Research Paper
The Singaporean high school textbooks of Singaporean history he used are in my office; in English

For Singapore also Newspapers SG (Singapore Newspapers 1831-2006) http://newspapers.nl.sg/default.aspx
Access free of charge, in English

For Turkey you may have to rely more on foreign sources.

Try get K. Mulliner, Historical Dictionary of Singapore, Rowman & Littlefield 2002 because volumes of this series have an excellent bibliography section; if there is a newer edition, get it; use www.abebooks.com
our library should have Matin Heper, Historical Dictionary of Turkey, Lanham Md. : Scarecrow 1999
From the same series. Check the bibliography in this volume.