History of Water-Power in Korea, in Comparison with China and Europe
Korean Minjok Leadership Academy
Table of Contents
Third Draft (Final Draft), Oct. 22 2013
Second Draft , Oct. 21 2013
First Draft , Oct. 14 2013
Third Draft (Final Draft) . .
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The author, Lyu, Seungin, is a Korean high school student who has spent several years living in China. He has a keen interest in history, and at KMLA he
learnt how to study history. Having learnt in European History class that watermills were major power suppliers in proto-industrial Europe, in his research paper, and having read that Song China was believed to have been on the verge of an industrial revolution of its own, half a millennium prior to the European Industrial Revolution, in his research paper Lyu, Seungin wanted to study about watermills in China and Korea. The Chinese part is well-covered in English language in the work of Joseph Needham, and in the documentary "Machines of Ancient China". However, all publications on Korea's historical waterwheels and watermills are written in Korean language. Lyu, Seungin's research summarizes information on Chinese and European watermills (for the purpose of comparison) and is more detailed when it comes to Korean waterwheels and watermills. Lyu, Seungin's analysis is his own, as he tries to place Korea's watermill technology into an international context. He finds that Song's advanced watermill technology was discontinued by later Chinese dynasties and
not transmitted to Korea, but also that construction of (additional) waterwheels/watermills repeatedly had been suggested to Korean kings, without success. The common factor for the lack of development in the usage of water power lies at the courts of Yuan/Ming/Qing China respectively Goryeo/Joseon Korea.
In the course of his research, Lyu Seungin has travelled to several sites in Korea where old watermills or waterwheels are located.
Second Draft . .
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(1) your image file "History of the Korean Waterwheels and Watermills" : the first title is given only in English. So the original text
was in English ? or did you just forget to give the Korean language title ?
(2) for titles number 5, 6, 7, be so nice to give English translations of the titles in brackets, and English spelling of the authors/websites
(3) Terry S. Reynolds, Medieval Roots of the Industrial Revolution : in the reference list you list all other titles author name first.
In case of Reynolds, you list title name first; so at first I did not find this title. Author name first in every case !
(1) We will use short references in the notes section : family name of author, year, page(s). If it is only one page you refer to, p.234. For two or more pages, pp.23-26. See Hye Jin's completed paper for how a note section should look. No urls in the note section. In the final draft, every note will be linked to the respective title in the reference section.
(2) your image file "History of the Korean Waterwheels and Watermills" : Please begin (on the left) with Choi 2008 : Choi Jang Soon, Kim Jin Won, An Architectural Feature ... etc. I will have to link all references to Korean language publications to this one file; this procedure will help the readers to quickly identify the source you refer to.
(3) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X%C3%A0tiva (note 36) not in your reference list. All titles you refer to in your text, including the notes, should be listed in your reference list.
(4)Sometimes (your figure numbers 3, 4 and more) you refer to several images as one single figure.
Give every image a separate number; systematically count them again beginning with 1. Give the dragon bone wheel image a number; presently ity has none.
(5) your figure number 20 : upshot waterwheel, not overshot waterwheel ? double check
Don't forget, you need to renumber your figures (better refer to them as images)
(6) You do not provide a reference (note) for Dragon Bone Wheel image. Add a note.
(7) Figure 2. A noria in Spain, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Noriacristina.JPG. No urls in text or notes. convert this into a proper note.
(8) Traditional Korean terminology for the waterwheel used for irrigation, especially in the salt ponds. Very similar to "Noria(1)" and "Dragon-bone wheel(5)". I do not understand what (1) and (5) refer to. As your text includes notes of this type, better use letters of the alphabet to avoid confusion.
(9) Joseph Needham¡¯s supports this by saying,
"Those who smelted and cast already had the push-bellows to blow up their charcoal fires, and now they were instructed to use the rushing of the water to operate it ... Thus the people got great benefit for little labor. They found the 'water-powered bellows' convenient and adopted it widely".
give note with precise page number.
(10) Although many books like úÔÔÒÜßö(Haedongnongseo) from this period mention about the waterwheels,
Do you list this book in your reference list ? If not yet, add it, with a comment explaining its content
(11) but none of these trials had a significant impact on modern Joeseon society typo
(12) a type of western waterwheel introduced by a western priest by the name of Sabbathino de Ursis.
add information oin the time when S. de Ursis did introduce that type of waterwheel
(13) And in 1783, Hosu Seo suggested King Jeongjo Hosu Seo, or Seo Hosu ?
(14) The Japanese invasion of Korea in 1592 turned out to be a failure, though it left a devastating impact on Joseon. When the Japanese retreated from Korean Peninsula in 1589, so they invaded in 1592 and returned three years earlier ? 1598 !
Renumber your images (name them images, not figures); after fixing what I listed above, renumber your notes.
When you send your next draft, highlight all changes. It takes me hours to post a draft; if you highlight the changes, it will save me a lot of time.
No Korean or Chinese characters in the text part, only in the reference list; if you want, you can add a glossary (image file gif version) in which
you may list Korean and Chinese terms.
First Draft . .
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(1) Korean and Chinese names : always family name first, as is traditional in the Far East. You repeatedly confuse your reader by changing the order.
For example : chapter 4A : Mun-bo Baek, a bit further down : Baek mun bo. Also capitalize first name : Baek Mun Bo.
(2) Many references (notes) missing. Every image you did not take yourself, any direct quote requires a reference (note).
In case of photos I took on our field trips to the watermills in Kangwondo, I do not insist on you mentioning me.
However, in at least one case you appear on the picture and some reader may wonder how you took that picture.
(3) Quality of references in notes : when you refer to a book source, give the precise page number(s) you refer to.
Especially if you state that the author of that book made a wrong statement.
(4) I suggest to change the title to : "History of Water-Power in Korea, in Comparison with China and Europe".
(5) Images; please think if the documentary screenshots are necessary. The producers may regard the usage of these screenshots
without their written permission a violation of copyright, even if you give proper reference.
(6) When you look at the uploaded version of your paper, you will find many problems when Korean and Chinese characters are
concerned. Keep in mind, your potential readers do not have their computer set on Korean font; on their screens more strange squares
Solution : you type the Korean bibliography section onto a blank page using paintbrush (±×¸²ÆÇ); file here
http://www.zum.de/whkmla/sp/a4%20blank.gif, name it bib.gif
In your notes you use the short note system : author (family name only, English spelling only), year, page number(s)
(7) Your references : often the year of publication is missing
(8) Goryeo Dynasty, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goryeo
(9) In the text : if you regard the inclusion of Korean or Chinese character strings necessary,
type these texts into a blank paintbrush file, reduce it to appropriate size, name it img001.gif (the next img002 etc.) and send
these files to me.
When uploaded as image files, the Korean respectively Chinese characters will appear on any computer screen ungarbled.
(10) noria - only used by the Spaniards; have never heard of it before.
By the way, I just saw one (with cups as containers affixed) in Yeongwol-gun, decorative, turning)
(11) IIB direct quote prior to note (7) : this quote refers to Needham, but includes (Needham fig.753). Does he quote himself ?
(12) IIIE Modern Watermills
It seems a bit awkward to list Tongbanga as "modern". It also does not fit your own definition of a watermill. Please rephrase.
(13) By 1300, there were more than 500 Cistercian monetary monasteries, you mean to say. In England ? In Europe ?
(14) The Europeans learned paper making from Chinese in early 12th century.
Are you sure ? By the early 12th century, no European had traveled to China yet, and I don't know of any Chinese who had reached Europe
at that time. The Europeans learned papermaking from the Arabs, who had learned it from the Chinese.
Give your source in a note. And the earliest place in Europe where paper was made is Xativa (Jativa), Spain (in the 12th century,
Muslim Spain) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X%C3%A0tiva
(15) Figure 6. Oil-Drilling Technology, Song Dynasty
Figure 7. Automated Bellows powered by waterwheel, Song Dynasty.
Figure 10. Nine Millstones powered by single waterwheel
figure 10 also Song Dynasty. All are recreated models of ...