The Treatment of Dictators in 20th Century History Books : Republic of Korea

Korean Minjok Leadership Academy

Table of Contents

Second Draft, November 12 2013
First Draft, June 30 2013
Second Draft . . Go to Teacher's Comment

(1) Bibliography
(a) For your final draft, you need to write all Korean language titles (perhaps your entire bibliography in an image file; I suggest paintbrush; file gif format. Author, name in Korean, name in brackets in English, title in Korean, title in brackets in English, place, publisher, year, URL if applies.
If you only list a title in English, that means : this book/article/essay is written in English.
(b) the plural of 'thesis' is 'theses'.
(c) J. Kim, The Jeju Anti-Guerilla Campaign. The Red Hunt 1948-1950, 2006, you forgot to give the URL. also check the other titles, where you may have forgotten a url. If you do not give a url; that means you read that thesis in print version.
(d) Article, Chronology of Mirae N Textbook, in: Mirae N Textbook Co. (Previously Daehan Textbook Co.)
in your text it says : This paper is mainly based on the primary sources?high school texts books of Korean History published from 1970 to 1996 by MiraeN Publishing Company
The Mirae N Textbook company did not exist when the textbooks you examine were printed. In your text you should state : were published by Daehan Textbook Co. (now Mirae N Publishing Company) from 1970 to 1996.
(e) Article, Chaos Expected to the Privatization of Government-published Textbooks, Younhap News, 1994 Yonhap
(f) I assume all annotations are your personal judgment.
J. Seo, Modern History of Korea through Photo and Picture, Woongjin Knowledge House, 2005 -This book is a brief narration of modern Korean history written by Professor Suh, who has a slight leftist tendency. In the narrating the history since late 1940s, he clearly revels the pro-Japanese rightists¡¯ faults and those of the dictators.
The Association for Contemporary Korean History, Creating Republic of Korea, KeeParang, 2012 -This book provides history of Korea in rather conservative perspective. Including this source is to neutralize the possible bias from slight leftist influence of ¡°Modern History of Korea through Photo and Pictures¡± written by Professor Suh.
First : spell him consistently, either Seo or Suh.
Second : the way you write will be interpreted as YOU believing that Prof. Seo/Suh is leftist. If that is not your intention, write : allegedly leftist / allegedly slightly leftist.
(g) I. Chun, A Critical Biography of Park Chung-hee, Ehak Publishing Co., 2006
-one of the best-written critical biography of Park Chung-hee, the book approaches Park¡¯s life, especially his aim for power, through additional psychological analysis

This implies that you read all biographies in Park Chung-hee. If you want to avoid such an implication : A very well-written ...
(2) Appendix
(a) 'appendix' is singular; you have 2, so Appendices
(b) Is appendix b really necessary ? This BBC timeline is online. So you could have refered to it in footnotes and your reference list. Also : Chun Doo Hwan's dictatorship-presidency ended in 1988. But the bulk of dates in the BBC timeline refers to events after that. So - does the BBC timeline fit as an appendix into your paper ?
(3) Notes
Please change footnotes into endnotes. Less work for me when I have to post your paper.
(4) Text
(a) The education of recent historical events including dictatorship and anti-dictatorial
Education about recent historical events ..
(b) Therefore, contemporary education curriculum that brings less emphasis on the modern history, should be revised.
the contemporary education curriculum that insufficiently emphasizes on modern history, should be revised.
You might replace "modern" by a more suitable expression, as it can be interpreted in different ways.
(c) Such interference and controversy in delivering the exact information to students would seem to be continued, as president Park Geun-hye, a daughter of Park Chung-hee, was elected as a president, brining the national concern on education of modern history of South Korea.
give the date of her election, in brackets
(d) For example, in 2011, the Ministry of Education eliminated the reference of ¡°Syngman Rhee¡¯s dictatorship,¡± ¡°the May 16 coup,¡± and ¡°Gwangju Massacre¡± from the core elements of middle school history textbook, and for the high school history textbook, the description of modern political history decreased from 80% to 50%, providing less information on recent controversial events.
I don't understand "from 80% to 50%". 80% of what ?
(e) The influence of contemporary political ideology on the narration of recent historical events in high school textbooks comparatively decreased, as time passed and political situation of South Korea changed from long-term dictatorships to democratic governments. Whereas history textbooks up to 1980s were used as means of indoctrination, especially in justifying the contemporary dictatorship, textbooks published since 1990s?the end of dictatorship and its violent continuation ended and stabilization of democratic election?textbooks have been relatively free from political propaganda. High school history textbook published in 1996, especially, delivered comprehensive details in objective manner that helped students¡¯ understanding of the historical background of certain events, without any implied disdain on certain party.
excellent statement.
(f) d) October Yushin
Expect your reader not to have a clue what Yushin means. Explanation required, perhaps in a footnote.
(g) In 1996 textbook, published under Kim Young-sam and during the 6th Curriculum,
published during the presidency of Kim Young-sam (he was not the editor)
(h) Moreover, it was first to mention the South Korean labor movement, which was in rise since 1970s but not described in precedent textbooks.
(i) the New Community Movement practically started by a governmental aid of 335 bags of cements for every villages (33267 villages in total),
for every village
(j) It was true, that South Koreans suffered from national poverty and
national poverty = the nation (as a whole) was poor; you may want to say : poverty was wide-spread
(k) The 1990 textbook, published during Roh Tae-woo¡¯s the 6th republic
Most foreigners will not understand the term "6th Republic". Is it not the same Republic of Korea ? give dates in brackets.
(l) but rather a justification of Park Chug-hee¡¯s rising to the power. typo
(m) Rhee, who tended to insist that his continuous reelection was for the sake of fulfilling the public sentiment, finally abdicated from his office and surreptitiously exiled to Hawaii.
went into exile in Hawaii.
(n) threatening voters by dispatching armed Liberals to the voting places,
Armed members of the Liberal Party
(o) He was extremely anti-Communistic, and irrationally punished the civilians who, by force, helped the Communist army during the Korean War, massacring more than 100,000 innocent people .
(p) Unlike precedent textbooks, preceding
(q) ¡°stirred up several bloodsheds.¡± bloodshed can not be coiunted, has no plural. cases of bloodshed
(r) fabricating the election results, executing his opponents (14), having his opponents executed
(s) Korean-Japanese Conference during Park Chung-hee¡¯s the 3rd republic give the date of that conference
(t) 95% of the workplaces in Jeju joined in the Great Strike workplaces don't go on strike, workers do
(u) Philip Jason. check spelling
(v) Democratic Party is a name; systematically capitalize throughout your paper
Rephrase; this reads as if he personally killed these 100,000. ... who had been forced to help the Communist army ...
Overall : Great start, all the matters I commented on are of minor importance, easy to fix. Your organization, your thesis stands.
Because of the many terms (4.3 Incident, 5th Republic etc), I suggest you add a glossary to your text once you are finished.

First Draft . . Go to KHR's Log

(1) Gwangju Democratization Movement (1988) : double-check the date
(2) successive dictatorship from 1948 to 1988 in South Korea. you may want to be more specific. The ROK was a "camouflage democracy"; you need to explain why, despite elections having been regulary held, it was regarded a dictatorship
(3) However, considering the geographical and temporal scope, this paper defines dictatorship in Korea as ¡°a form of Korean government in which a person possessed an absolute power without any constitutional limitation, after the partition of Korea.¡±
"Korean government" - your paper is about the Republic of Korea (ROK) / South Korea. English readers may be confused if you are not more specific
(4) High school textbooks, especially, provide detailed narrative of history, compare to those of elementary schools and middle schools. compared to
(5) This ranges from the start of 1st republic, the led by Rhee Syng-man, to the end of 5th republic, explain th first to fifth republic, in a footnote
(6) I. Rhee Syng-man (1948-1960) he spelled his name Syngman Rhee. for Korean names, use the spelling the Wikipedia uses; if you want to make an exception; explain in a footnote.
(7) He was an extreme anti-Communist, and irrationally punished the civilians who, by force, helped the Communist army during the Korean War, massacring more than 100,000 innocent people for such a statement you need to give a reference.
Syngman Rhee was an extreme anti-Communist; his administration had many innocent civilians accused of aiding the Communist Army during the Korea war, sentened and executed; their number is estimated at ...
when ? give range of time
(8) Moreover, to lengthen his reign, he compellingly amended constitution, changed the election system from indirect to direct[1], [1] In the early years of Republic of Korea, the members of National Assembly elected the president. However, Rhee, knowing that he would not be re-elected through the indirect election, tried to change the system to direct election by the public, who were too ignorant to know his faults.
when ?
(9) According to the ¡°4.3 Special law,¡± This law was passed when ?
(10) reference to Kim Jin-seo's paper
(11) Most civilians of Jeju evacuated and moved into Mountain Halla due to the great conflagration by the army, involving themselves to the armed resistances.
evcuated their homes near the coast and moved into the interior
(12) As a reaction, students of Daegu started demonstration, claiming not to take advantage of students in politics.
demanding that students should not be taken advantage of for party political reasons.
(13) The demonstrations of high school students continued in Seoul, Daejeon, Suwon, and Busan, and later were joined by citizens. other citizens
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