History of the Niger Delta Conflict
Korean Minjok Leadership Academy
Table of Contents
2nd Draft, Feb. 11th 2014
1st Draft, Dec. 27th 2013
Table of Contents, 1st Draft, June 30 2013
Chapter 5, 1st Draft, June 30 2013
Bibliography, 1st Draft, June 30 2013
2nd Draft . .
Go to KSH's Log
(1) I see that you have extended your reference list. This draft documents your attitude : you did not write this paper to fulfill a requirement given to you by school; you continue to work on this paper although you graduated from school, because this topic is dear to your heart and you want to continue improving on it. I do appreciate your attitude.
In this online edition, I rearranged some entries in the order : author, title; your draft was a bit inconsistent in that aspect.
(2) First draft : 54 notes, Second draft : 74 notes. Proves the same point I observed in (1).
(2a) : (59) WASH. & LEE J. , p.21. In your notes section : avoid the capitalization and abbreviation of notes.
(2b) : the standard short reference in the note section : author, year, page(s). Ex. : Kim 2002 pp.345-357
(3) : In the book ¡°Oil, Democracy and the Promise of True Federalism in Nigeria,¡± the author identified four main reasons for the recent apostles of resource control of the political elites in Niger Delta.
1. The dominant position and view in the delta in May 1999 was resource control. To take a contrary position to the resource control may have been a political suicide.
2. Since most of the government officials came into the office without any ideology or designed program, the resource control could readily become a platform.
3. The issue was convenient to be used to compel the federal government to implement constitutional provisions related to devolution or allocation.
4. They used resource control advocacy to fight against political Sharia.
You did give us the book title; still I want you to add a note, in which you give the page numbers (and the author).
(4) Impacts of pollution
4.1.3. Impact on biodiversity
Impacts of pollution is meant to be a title, but has no chapter/subchapter number.
(5) The evidence mainly collected from the Public Records Office (National Archive) in London suggests that protecting the investment of Shell-BP in Nigerian oil had played much important role in the British attempts to support one Nigeria.
If you make such a statement and do not give reference, your reader will imply that you personally visited the Public Record Office and saw these pieces of evidence.
(6) General Charles De Gaulle never formally recognized Biafra, but did support Biafra's "right to self-determination" and gave aid to Biafran through the French colonized states such as Ivory Coast, Cameroon and Gabon.
The Biafran War was fought in 1967-1970. Ivory Coast, Cameroon and Gabon all became independent in 1960. Better : through the former French colonies of ...
(7) On January 14th, 1970, Biafra formally relinquished and Gowon declared the end of the war.
Biafra formally surrendered
(8) Title : History of the Niger Delta Crisis
(9) chapter 2.1 : Brief History of Colonial Nigeria still to be written
(10) Blood Oil is the word that refers to petroleum from Niger Delta region in Nigeria. from the Niger Delta region
(11) It is ironic to see how a nation with enormous resources and workforce suffers from poverty, instability of economy, and political chaos
"tragic" instead of 'ironic' (if you use 'ironic', some readers may imply that you laugh about this situation); such enormous resources and such a workforce
(12) The territory now held by Nigeria has long played the central role in world market as a supplier of slaves,
The central role = there was no other center of equal importance ; a central role = it was one of several important centers. You decide.
(13) collapse of basic economy, collapse of the basic economy/of its basic economy
(14) unscrupulous control of resources by foreign companies all attribute to the problems that Nigeria suffers.
control ? corruption is rampant, because Nigerian bureaucracy is in control
(15) The center of the phenomena lays the most important yet difficult problem called Niger Delta Crisis.
phenomena = plural, lays = singular. both must either be singular, or plural, not a combination of both.
(16) environmental impact of the crisis and finally, the movement of Niger Delta People. movements of the Niger Delta People
(17) The confusion in the standard of ruling became major problem even after independence in most parts of Africa
In most parts of Africa, even after independence, confusion as to the standard of ruling became a major problem.
(18) After the independence, Nnamdi Azikwe became Nigeria's first president in 1963 (10) but was overthrown by a military coup after three years. The new government established by the first military coup was ousted by another military coup within two years.
Better give the years in which these two coups took place.
(19) The national instability explains the reasons that hindered Nigeria's economic development as an oil producer. Originally, Nigeria was perceived as a producer of raw materials, and the country's infrastructure mainly had been established to serve their export. Thus, in 1938, when a joint venture between royal Dutch shell and British petroleum was granted a right to explore oil in Nigeria, the infrastructure for exporting the goods were used. Nigeria's tremendous supply of oil, along with strong transportation infrastructure was the opportunity for Nigeria to supply oil throughout the globe. However, its constant political alterations among elected president and military coup and military president begun in 1960 have brought rampant corruption, an impediment to the development of the country. Over the time, the Nigerian government also switched its main industry from the agricultural based to heavy industry. Thus, gradually, agricultural technology became antiquated, people moved from rural to urban areas, and the basic economy aggravated and caused widespread poverty.
When did Nigeria become a nation ? In 1914 Britain merged Southern and Northern Nigeria into one colony; its population was very diverse (500+ languages spoken, according to ethnologue). The usage of the term "nation" for the time since independence (1960) is common practice. But in this paragraph you jump back to the beginning of oil exploration in Nigeria, 1938.
In your paper it is necessary to narrate the history of oil exploration in Nigeria. Look into the data provided by IHS; prior to 1960, oil production in Nigeria was of negligible scale. And you might want to use this information here; otherwise your readers may imply exaggerated figures.
(20) Violence against Igbos occurred as early as 1945 as a form of group-targeted violence and became apparent in 1966.
Violence by whom against Igbos (1945) ? By 1945 the British were still in charge. Be more precise and give reference
(21) During the three genocidal attacks from May 29 to September 29, 1966, about 30,000 Igbos were indiscriminately killed, which, according to many evidences, was coordinated by highly placed northern politicians also with some federal government officers.
attacks conducted by whom ? the army ? give reference; "many evidences" is not sufficient. "many pieces of evidence"/"many reports"; evidence does not have a plural.
(22) Besides from regional and ethnic problems, oil is suggested another reason for the break of the war outbreak
(23) First, the Biafran army seized the whole oil rich Biafra to the west, but in return
Biafra was the eastern region. Whatever region the Biafran army seized to its west must have had a different name
(24) The war resulted in killing of 2 million Nigerian citizens and the reinforcement of Gowon regime as the military dictatorship supported by the capitalists backers such as Britain and US. The war also brought marginalization, nepotism, and tribalism. (16)
marginalization of what
If you say, the war brought nepotism, you also say : before the war there was no nepotism.
If you say, the war brought tribalism, you also say : before the war there was no tribalism. Here you contradict yourself; if there was no tribalism beforehand, why the genocidal attacks of 1966 ?
The war did not bring nepotism and tribalism, it resulted in an intensification of nepotism and tribalism.
(25) many foreign journalists reported that federal government attacked and killed Igbos although the government completely overran the region
although government troops were in control of the region
(26) However, the violence against Biafran continued; the government policy removed the saving of every Biafran who had managed their bank accounts during the war. (22)
the government confiscated the saving ...
the violence until Igbos continued until when ?
One question : you monitor violence against Igbos. Was there no anti-reaction, vioolent acts of Igbos against other Nigerian ethnicities ?
(27) However, the mistrust built up from the war had gradually worsened the split among the regions and Biafrans were severely criticized by Gowon and his imperialist backers. (24)
"Imperialist backers" is a term which I expect a member of the British Socialist Party to use. It is a value-laden term; here you use it without quotation marks. So your reader must imply that you agree with the values it contains, that you are a Socialist (or Communist) or that you at least sympathize with them. I suggest you rephrase.
(28) Forcados, Funiwa etc. : use either "barrels" or "bbl" consistently. I looked up bbl, because I initially assumed bbl to mean 'billion barrels'. Your inconsistency in units is confusing. This table of major oil spills also indicates : the greatest spills were 1979 to 1980, the spills of 1983 and 1995 which you list as major spills were 1 % respectively 5 % of the scale of those of 1979 and 1980; so the information you provide also concedes that the oil industry was successful in preventing the repetition of disasters of the scale of 1979 to 1980. Don't you think it is appropriate to credit it for this accomplishment ?
(29) However, many claim that the spillage is mostly from the weak pipelines since the Nigerian laws forbid the compensation of oil spills caused by sabotage- so there is no reason for Niger Delta people to habitually threaten their own life, destroying ecosystem they depend on - and many of the pipelines and valves are old and fragile to such leakage.
so there is no reason ? A few lines further up you conceded that Niger Delta youth have diverted oil from pipelines to sell it for personal profit, and they have caused oil spills of their own in the process. This might still be profitable business, so there was/is a reason; you contradict yourself.
(30) The Department of Petroleum Resources indicates much less percentage of sabotage they claim that only 4 percent of all spills in Nigeria from 1976 to 1990 were result of sabotage. (43) Is the Department of Petroleum Resources a Nigerian institution ? Better indicate it as such.
(31) Shell's continuous false claims on oil spills in Niger Delta are also being recently exposed by many international organizations. The reports from Amnesty International suggest that oil spills are blamed on local sabotage all too often.
continuous false claims .. Here you side with the critics of Shell. The only source you give to base this judgment on is that Department of Petroleum Resources
I inquired about in comment 30. If it is a Nigerian Agency, the agency of one of the most corrupt countries in the world, would it not be appropriate for you to distance yourself from the data it provides, and to be more moderate in your characterization of Shell ?
(32) For example, one spill in Rumueke that was known as a result of sabotage by Shell was revealed to have been a result of leak in pipeline. (44) Numerous petitions protesting these false charges and Shell's false reports have been ignored. (45)
Okay, you have one piece of proper evidence. This does not suffice to explain the difference between 80 % (Shell) and 4 % (Department).
As you label Shell's report as "false", you put the entire blame on Shell. How about 'inaccurate' instead of 'false' ?
(34) Neither Shell, nor any other oil company appears in your conclusion. So it seems you agree with me that this is more of an internal Nigerian problem
than one caused by international oil companies. The text of your conclusion, and value-laden terms you use in your text ("imperialist backers", "false reports") do not match.
1st Draft . .
Go to KSH's Log
(1) Blood Oil is the word that refers to petroleum from Niger Delta region in Nigeria. Nigeria, with its enormous quantity of oil, has been a place of chaos and conflict long since its independence from the Britain.
.. from Britain in 1960.
(2) It is ironic to see how the nation with huge resources and labors suffers from poverty, instability of economy, and political chaos.
.. a nation with such huge resources and such a large workforce ..
(3) Nigeria has long played the central role in world market as a supplier of slaves, and other commodities that have played important role in the emergency of modernity.
The territory now held by Nigeria has long played ...
Nigeria was only created after the slave trade had been terminated.
(4) IN 2008, the country maintained 83 billion dollars in oil and gas revenues.
earned, not maintained
(5) However, it is ranked 211th in average lifetime among 223 countries registered.
(6) Political corruption, collapse of basic economy, and unscrupulous foreign company
the collapse of its basic economy
I suggest : unscrupulous foreign companies (plural); if you use the singular, your reader will imply that you blame Shell exclusively for all of Nigeria's
(7) The area was the British Oil Rivers Protectorate from 1885 to 1893.
was part of ..
(8) future discovered oil is estimated to be 40 billion barrels, putting Niger Delta as the twelfth largest in the world.
twelfth largest what ? delta or oil deposit ?
(9) After Nigeria got independence in October 1, 1960
(10) According to Sami Amadi (2007), whereas the bill of rights was introduced into the country after independence and "proclaimed citizenship rights for every Nigerian, the colonial laws that regionalized and ethnicized access to privileges and rights remained effective." add a note.
(11) Nnamdi Azikwe became Nigeria¡¯s first president in 1963
It appears awkward that a country which became independent in 1960 got its first president in 1963. Give an explanation in a note.
(12) The first military coup was ousted by another military coup within two years.
A coup can not be ousted by a coup; the new government established by a coup can be ousted by the next coup.
Give the dates for both coups. Yopu like environmental topics, but this is still a history paper.
(13) Originally, Nigeria was perceived as production and exports that the infrastructure built in Nigeria were mainly for transportation.
as a producer of raw materials, and the country's infrastructure mainly had been established to serve their export
(14) Thus, in 1938, when oil became a staple in Nigerian economy through a joint venture between royal Dutch shell and British petroleum, the infrastructure for exporting the goods were used
IHS Africa, Asia, Oceania pp.360-361 gives Nigeria's oil production figures. They begin in 1957 with practically nothing and then rise until they stabilize in 1973. add that source to your references (in my office).
It contradicts your statement of oil having been a staple in 1838.
(15) The shortsighted Nigerian government also switched its industry completely from the agricultural based to heavy industry.
Which government ? you yourself wrote thast they changed all the time. Or do you mean several governments ? The difference between singular and plural is important.
(16) Thus, Nigeria, agricultural technology became antiquated, people moved from rural to urban areas, and the basic economy collapsed and caused widespread poverty.
a collapse happens suddenly, so it has a specific date which your reader expects you to give.
However, I wonder if you mean "collapse". Rephrase. When you do, you may want to include reference to the country's strong population growth.
(17) With such political uncertainly uncertainty
(18) The Biafran war was the result of combination of the Igbo¡¯s resistance against the Nigerian federal government and the conflicts associated with petroleum rents among three regions-North, East, and West. Violence against Ibos occurred as early as 1945 as a form of
In the same paragraph you use two different spellings (Igbo, Ibo) for one and the same people. Pick one spelling and use it consistently throughout your
(19) Violence against Ibos occurred as early as 1945 as a form of group-targeted violence and became apparent in 1966. During the three genocidal attacks from May 29 to September 29, 1966, about 30,000 Ibos were indiscriminately killed, which, according to many evidences, was coordinated by highly placed northern politicians also with some federal government officers.
give reference(s) in a note.
(20) The Revenue Allocation Report, which recommended Nigerian industry to relocate the half of the profit to the regions by derivation, caused enormous wealth to the regional governments, particularly the Eastern regional government.
give reference in a note.
(21) This allocation brought complains from the federal government, which were mainly in the North of the country.
As Lagos was the capital at that time, the entire government was in the country's south. It sems you mean to say something else; rephrase.
(22) The process of the war is as follows. On the eve of the civil war (1967), Yakubu Gowon, the leader of the federal military government, changed the administrative structures of the country and divided the country into twelve States from four Regions.
This sounds like one man arbitrarily changing the country's constitution. But existing laws, the existing constitution makes such an act by just one man rather unlikely. Re-read, and if necessary, rephrase.
(23) Even during the war, the merciless genocide continued; many foreign journalists reported that federal government cruelly attacked and killed Ibos although the government completely overran the war.
Many died in that war; as I understand, many of the victims died of starvation. If you regard this war as being part of a genocide, you need to back up that statement by references (note). The term "merciless" is emotional; a Muslim reader might think, you are biased toward the Biafrans, he will not take you as a neutral analyst. Rephrase.
A government can con overrun a war. rephrase.
(24) Many documented testimonies of victims and observers show cruelty and barbarism of the Nigerian soldiers which naturally lead us to think about the genocidal motivation.
If you say 'the Nigerian soldiers', you accuse all of them. Rephrase, leave room for exceptions.
'Many testimonies' - you give just evidence for one single case. Such an accusation requires more support.
(25) in both the Biafran and Niger delta region
There is no Biafran delta
(26) While the Biafran army fought against Britain, United States and Nigerian Federal Troops,
I never heard of British and U.S. troops having actively fought in the Biafra War. Give evidence in a note or rephrase.
(27) it was supported by some mercenary military officers from Ireland, France, and Germany and countries such as France, South Africa, and Israel.
at that time, Germany was divided; do you refer to East or West Germany ?
(28) Especially, France actively supported Biafran through aid using its colonized nations neighboring Nigeria.
Cameroon, as Nigeria, got independent in 1960. .. through her former colony of Cameroon.
(29) As to France, since super imperialists lost their super power to control the Biafran oil, ..
skip both 'supers'; immature expression. Do you regard 1960s France as not being among the imperialist powers ?
(30) General Charles De Gaulle never formally recognized Biafra, he did support Biafra's "right to self-determination" and gave aid to Biafran through the French colonized states such as Ivory Coast, Cameroon and Gabon.
give reference in a note
(31) And According to Cebiloan Hyacint, from British Socialist Party, Biafran war has been at the advantage of capitalism along most of the wars that broke such as Liberaian war, Sierra Leone war, Congo war and Afghanistan war.
give reference in a note. Your reader wants to know where and when he said/wrote that, and where you found the information
(32) Thanks to Gowon, imperialism had established a number of new oil terminals and ensured stability of oil profits, ..
Whom to you mean by "imperialism" ? I suggest you avoid that term, be more precise.
(33) However, the mistrust built up from the war had gradually destroyed the unity of Nigeria and Biafrans were severely criticized by Gowon and his imperialist backers.
Not the war, Biafran secession has destroyed that unity, or if you see it that way, Gowon's restructuring of the country did.
Of course one might ask what degree of Nigerian unity ever existed.
(34) And According to Cebiloan Hyacint, from British Socialist Party, Biafran war has been at the advantage of capitalism along most of the wars that broke such as Liberaian war, Sierra Leone war, Congo war and Afghanistan war.
Give the dates. You will notice that all these wars came several decades after the Biafran war.
(35) According to Cabezas, nationalization is ¡°a particular type of organizational structure where the state or nation controls the industry as opposed to private companies or multinational organization.¡±
give note with reference.
(36) However, many claim that the spillage is mostly from the weak pipelines since the Nigerian laws forbid the recompense of oil spills including sabotage
compensation, .. caused by sabotage
(37) The Shell currently indicates that over the last five years
give the date of that report. I looked for that date in your note, and then in the reference you gave in your note. Found the date at neither place.
(38) The Department of Petroleum Resources indicates much less percentage of sabotage they claim that only 4 percent of all spills in Nigeria from 1976 to 1990 were result of sabotage.
note with reference.
(39) The reports from Amnesty International suggest that oil spills are blamed on local sabotage all too often.
Amnesty International is concerned with political prisoners. So you need to explain how come they bother dealing with oil spills.
You may do so in a note.
(40) Besides from Shell, that continuously makes false statistics,
Do you have proof for this accusation ? If yes, provide evidence in a note. If not, take out this accusation.
If you were to say ... whose statistics can not be trusted ..., that would be less strong and provocative.
(41) for your map, table : give reference in a note in each case
(42) Because its distinct aquatic faunal zones, it has some new species and some are still unknown.
What do you mean by "new species" ? awkward, rephrase
(43) Flaring of gas has had detrimental consequences in environment as it contains more than 250 toxins.
flaring is a process and thus does not contain anything. rephrase
(44) The main governmental efforts include Oil Pollution Act of 1990, Federal Environmental Protection Agency, National Oil Spill Detection and Response Agency.
The passing of the act, the establishment of agencies
(45) The provisions of the National Policy on the Environment clarifies that oil companies operating Nigeria should ¡°adopt practicable precautions such as up-to-date equipment, to prevent pollution, and take prompts steps to control¡±: ¡°maintain all installations in good repair and condition in order to prevent the escape or avoidable waste of petroleum, and cause as little damage as possible to the surface of relevant area¡¦.¡±: ¡°allow local inhabitants to have access, at their own risk, to road constructed in operating areas.¡±
direct quotes; note(s) with reference(s) required
(46) polluted by oil¡± (UNEP, 2011, p. 10).
convert that bracket into a note.
(47) 4.2.3. Physic-health impact
impact on physical health
(48) Epidemic of HIV/AIDS left over 3.5 million infected people without basic health treatment and the region is remained a malaria endemic region. Most Nigerians have lost faith in government- run service and often rely on traditional healers and private pharmacists.
Your paper paints a gloomy picture, genocide in Biafra, severe pollution, an insufficient health service and AIDS in the Niger Delta.
In a country with about the highest population growth rate in the world.
At the bottom of this page http://www.populstat.info/Africa/nigeriag.htm you find population growth data for every province.
Your terminology indicates to me that you sympathize with the victims (which is understandable). However, as a scholar you need to fight your emotions, you need to try be neutral. I want you to include 'Population Statistics' in your reference list and to study those data.
For the last 30 years or so, the population figures of the Niger Delta Provinces should be negatively affected, in comparison to other provinces, if the picture you give is correct.
(49) that it decreased the available drinking water and
.. the amount of available drinking water ; it may affect vegetation and fauna as well.
(50) Before the revolution, the Niger Delta Volunteer Force each took the oath that promises ¡°to uphold the natural rights and integrity of the Niger Delta peoples.¡±
direct quote requires note with reference
(51) Though Boro and his compatriots were jailed for treason, the federal regime of General Yakubu Gowon granted him amnesty in 1967; then, Boro was commissioned as a major in the Nigerian Army. The Twelve Day revolution was meaningful since it was the founding moment of insurgency (characterized as a massive escalation in the quantity and quality of sophisticated arms operating on environment)
You use past tense in the entire paragraph. Therefore I assume that Boro has died. Is that what you mean to say ? (you begin your paragraph with 'Boro was ..')
(52) Despite the severe terror unleashed,
terror unleashed by whom ? give reference in a note.
(53) overwhelmed by Saro Wawa¡¯s personal ambition,
'overwhewlmed' not the right term; rephrase.
(54) In 1998, the long-herd about the loss of control over resources to oil companies was raised ..
I don't understand this sentence. Rephrase
(55) Kaima or Kaiama Declaration ? Double-check, fix
(56) 1. The dominant position and view in the delta in May 199 was resource control. To take a contrary position may have been a political suicide.
year incomplete. contrary position to what ? rephrase.
(57) In April 2006, MEND exploded bomb near oil refinery in the Niger Delta region in order to warn Chinese expansion into the illegally seized Niger Delta region and its investment in stolen crude oil.
You did not mention the Chinese before. "Chinese expansion" may be misinterpreted; rephrase
(58) 4. They used resource control advocacy to fight with political Sharia.
You mean to say : to fight against political Sharia ?
(59) Website: Nigeria-West Africa,whkmla http://www.zum.de/whkmla/region/westafrica/xnigeria.html
Paper: The European View of West Africa and Colonialism as expressed in Historic Encyclopedias, Kim, Jiwan, 2009
Why do you regard this a bibliographic source ? I can't see it being relevant to your paper at all; skip
(60) Report: Assessment of Ogoniland, Executive Summary, UNEP, 2011
Report: Revenue transparency to mitigate the resource curse in the Niger Delta-Potential and reality of Niger Delta, Marie Muller, BICC, June 2010
how did you get access to these reports ? if they are online, give the url, for ALL sources you obtained online including google e-books.
(61) Aghalino*, S. O., What does that star stand for ? Skip
(62) for those items in your reference list without a year : try find the year of publication
(63) Voies, Eferiekose Ukal,. 2011. Gas Flaring in Nigeria¡¯s Niger Delta: Failed Promises and Reviving Community 2 WASH. & LEE J. ENERGY, CLIMATE, & ENV'T 97
the capitalized part is an abbreviation; try find the full text and don't capitalize.
(64) Saro-Wiwa, Kenule.1992. GENOCIDE IN NIGERIA: THE OGONI TRAGEDY 78
(65) 54) Obi, Cyril, ¡±The Petroleum Industry: A paradox or (sp)oiler of development,¡± Journal of Contemporary African Studies, 2010, pp 445-446
What does that note number do in your reference list ?
Bunch of minor formal things to fix.
Fill in the notes you forgot in this draft. I am sure it was an oversight; but in future work : check thoroughly or add notes when you write any paragraph
and sort them into a system when you are done. Because your reader might not suspect an oversight, but imply intention.
Two areas in which I am a bit concerned : your English expression, which needs further improvement, and an apparent bias which I occasionally read out of your text.
At college find a friend who proof-reads your text (and you hers) so that you can fix a lot of such matters before your professor sees them.
Table of Contents, 1st Draft . .
Go to KSH's Log
Looks fine to me.
Chapter 5, 1st Draft . .
Go to KSH's Log
Looks fine to me.
Bibliography, 1st Draft . .
Go to KSH's Log
(1) Bibliographical sources are sources you used in order to find other sources, and not for any text content.
I don't understand why you list Paper: The European View of West Africa and Colonialism as expressed in Historic Encyclopedias, Kim, Jiwan, 2009
as a bibliographical source. In my impression, some of the sources you list as "bibliographical" are rather primary sources.
(2) I have composed the following page to help students find relevant sources : http://www.zum.de/whkmla/region/westafrica/xwafricalit.html
perhaps there is something for you.
(3) S. Ekine, Blood and Oil: Testimonies of Violence from Women of the Niger Delta, 2000